You probably already know that you should never send anyone compromising photos of you, even if you have been dating for a while. But you also probably think that even if you did nothing bad would happen. That’s what I thought when I sent my boyfriend of four years a quick topless photo one night when he was on a business trip. I didn’t think anything of it and I even forgot that I sent it. Until about six months later when we broke up.
I ended the relationship and he took it badly. But, I thought after the dust settled that things would get back to normal. Unfortunately, I was very wrong. About a month after we finally ended things for good and he moved out I got a message from a friend on Facebook telling me to look at a website. They sent a link. And there, to my horror, was my topless photo with my name and my employer’s information. And my friend let me know that the link had been messaged by my ex to every single person on my Facebook friends list, including my boss and my co-workers.
I was mortified. And also terrified. I didn’t know what happen. I was afraid of losing my job and I was also afraid of being ostracized by co-workers. I was worried that clients or business associates would see those photos. I wanted to look on Twitter and Instagram to see if he was sending the link on those platforms but I didn’t have the courage to look. One of my friends looked for me and told me that the link had been tweeted to all of my ex’s ten thousand followers.
I called the police but they told me that there was nothing they could do. I was advised to print out the photo and the information from the website and start documenting any messages or contact I had with him in order to try and build a case against him. But there was no way to prove that he had uploaded the photo and because everything he was doing was online there was no way to stop him.
I started suffering from anxiety attacks all the time. I didn’t lose my job but I was definitely treated differently. My co-workers gossiped about me and I was passed over for a promotion that I had earned a few months after all this happened. Of course, I couldn’t prove that the photo had an impact on not getting the promotion but there’s a good chance it did. Eventually, I changed jobs but after just a few weeks my new employers received an email from an anonymous account with a link to the same site.
I never thought that one quick selfie would end up ruining my chances for promotion and following me from job to job. I trusted my boyfriend and I felt certain he would never do such a terrible thing. But it happened to me, and it can happen to you too. Think twice before sending any photos that could be used against you in the future.
Got a Hot New Date? Keep Yourself on the Safe Side and Do a Background Check for New Dates
Being set up for a blind date or going on dating sites for a chance at love is not a bad thing. After all, many successful marriages sprung forth from such meetings. But while you can hope for the best when it comes to these kinds of dates, you should be aware of the risks it poses. And to stay on the safe side, you’d better do a background check for new dates so you don’t end up with a broken heart, or worse, broken bones and more.
Just to make it more clear, here are some of the risks that go on dates with people you don’t know have.
Your date can be a human trafficker who is ready to kidnap you and sell you to others.
Your date can be a rapist or sexual offender.
Your date can be any other type of criminal who wants to do you harm.
Your date can already be married and have a family.
These are just a few of what your date can end up to be and that you should be aware of.
But you should not ditch your date just because you think he may be one of the above. So, how can you tell if the guy is a cheater or a criminal? You can simply do a background check on him using tools on the internet such as the people search engine Kiwi Searches.
And when you are sure of your date, be more cautious and follow these tips.
Make sure to meet at a well-populated and well-lighted place.
Let someone you trust, like a family member or close friend, know about your plans of meeting someone.
Travel on separate cars. Don’t let your date pick you up or give him a ride on your car.
Don’t give out important details about your life such as your address.
Always have an exit plan if you don’t feel comfortable or safe with your date.
Make sure you are not followed to your home when your date is over.
The best relationship advice always has to do with safety. Love and trust. If you don’t have these feelings for your date, chances are he’s not the one for you.
30 million people use online dating sites every month, and as many as 40% of them could already be married. I met and dated a guy for four months without knowing he was married the entire time. And when I confronted him he admitted cheating but said he had no plans to leave his wife. I want to save you from that heartache and having to do a reverse phone search. Here are a few of the signs:
If they won’t post any clear or identifiable photos of themselves as their profile pic or in their public photos. They might be married and they might be trying to remain incognito. The person I dated had only a group photo as a profile pic and kept all their other photos private. While using my old phone, I could barely find photos of them. I didn’t see a clear photo of his face until we had exchanged phone numbers.
They Won’t Give You Personal Information
Of course, you should always be wary of giving your personal information to strangers at first. That’s just common sense. But if the person you are talking with is married even after you have given up some of your personal information to establish mutual trust they won’t give you their personal information. They may not want to give you their phone number, insisting that they will call or text you when they are free. Or they may give you a VOIP phone line that goes straight to voicemail and tell you to leave a message and they will call you back. Make sure you run a background check first!
They Talk And Text At Strange Hours
If you have moved to the talking on the phone and texting part of online dating and the person you’re dating is married or in a relationship, you might notice that they are very reluctant to talk on the phone or text with you and this is an obvious sign. They might ask you to message them on social media or email them instead of talk or text. If they do want to talk on the phone it could be at odd hours like during lunchtime when they’re at work, very early in the morning or very late at night. They also may only text you during brief periods of the day.